I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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