This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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