3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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