Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
