sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
