Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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