It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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