I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
