Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
