So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize