she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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