i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
