Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
