Porn is love you can see.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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