Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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