ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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