Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
