you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
