If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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