real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
