I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
