I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
