I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize