you traded sex for a burrito?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
