You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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