Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
