Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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