soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
