I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
