Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
