In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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