VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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