defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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