I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
