I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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