i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just invented taco cereal.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
