Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
