do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
