SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
