Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
