we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
