What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
