I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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