Please, let me fuck your mom
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize