Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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