THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
