Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's just like the Real World with babies
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
