I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
