i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
