they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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