I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
As shirtless as possible
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
