Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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