I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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