They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
