One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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