Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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