Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
