I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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