she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
4 words: hood of his car
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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